“Patience is cultivated in the storms of your own heart and mind.”
CHRISTINA FELDMAN, Compassion
When one is to read the above quote, one can evaluate the content of it as having to say that patience exists in every individual’s soul. It happens when one has the ability to control the angry storm of hatred against the other person in a composed and rational way.
However I am not fully compliant to such a notion.
I dislike the idea of waiting. Even the slightest minute of inertia makes my mood clings to anger, almost get blown to hate, resorting to shout at the top of my lung. I often fail to compose my animosity to wait, notwithstanding I have successfully succumb this bad habit last year when my ex-gf found my anger management issue distasteful. Now, I am single where no one is going to physically and emotionally calm me down, that anger residing within me starts to boil and burst at anytime and anywhere.
I don’t wish for this to happen especially when I lose my control on someone in the public. I would just burst into anger and the victim whom I condemned in the eyes of the public would find my character as unscrupulous. Again, I want to reiterate this once more, I dislike being angry at someone, but it’s just who I am. Everyone is afraid of me once my true color is exposed.
Supporting this notion of being unable to control my anger is the disease I wish to let go. I accordingly want some psychiatric help on my condition. This illness which I call my hollow. It seems empty because I can actually hear the echo inside my heart when every time I want to get help. But who am I to tell if no one out there would listen to my low cry of misery. I think I have built my own empire of misery these days. Jobless, motionless, dull and tedious process of watching movies and reading news on the web every day affects even the brightest person to turn obtuse. I want to move. I want to work. I want to contribute my skill and knowledge to someone who really needs me in return of financial stability for my own.