Do we live life forwards, but examine it backwards?

I learnt from my past that if I were to spend my money on unnecessary things, I would inevitably confront the frowning face of scarcity in finance and the unfriendly smirks of poverty. Although at that time, I was only 14 years old. It was as simple as a primary school addition and subtraction mathematic subject; no money means no smiling faces. If my parents forgot to give me lunch money, envy towards my friends who had their lunch mini containers filled with chicken rice never failed to make my mouth all watery.

By the time I reached my Six Forms, I became a mature man and devoted myself not to follow suit of my past self. I saved up my money and didn’t enjoy much on cool inventions and technology at that time like Apple Ipod. I put all my concentration on getting more money.

This habit followed and haunted me until I graduated from a Law School. I remember I used to boil eggs as my breakfast, lunch and dinner, with a plate of rice and ketchup (It is very strange! I know!) Money was tight for me at that time although my father usually sent me money via internet transfer online. As a good kid, I didn’t spend much of that money on clubbing, drinking, or even shopping. I just wanted to make sure that all those money sent by my parents didn’t exceed my budget.

But now after my graduation and relaxing most of my day time, watching television and DVDs, surfing the net to improve my writing and crafting error-free grammatical English sentences, I don’t love money as much as I fell in love with it in the past. I like to spend my money on outside food at restaurant bringing along my young, enthusiastic hungry siblings. I see them as these pearls that I need to polish every single day before it turns into a dark useless coal if I were careless. I need to show them that I love my siblings more than I love my money. In other words, I don’t care much about my future anymore whether I become a rich entrepreneur or a poor beggar. I just want to show my siblings that I can buy them anything they want.

So do I look back at my past and learn from it as a continuing guidance for my future? The answer is no. We are different. Each of us has our own uniqueness. The rarity possessed in every single human being on earth makes our society unpredictably fun and unmistakably stressful. Not all people are going to learn from the mistakes he made in the past. Just like not all people think about their future. There is no point in turning your head and examining your past just to walk you through the thick forest of life once more. You need to find a new innovative way to jungle your way out to the new modern way of life instead of fully relying on your whispering low advices of your failing past.


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A thriller with a touch of romance. A mystery seeker. A modern daydreamer.

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